2 posts tagged “haircut”
I have always found trips to the hairdresser very stressful. What I cannot come to terms with is the notion of a stranger (a) washing my hair and then (b) wielding sharp implements in close proximity to my face. Weird intimacy + potential scarification = do not like.
Today, I booked to go to a new hairdresser after several people recommended it. I walk in to find two small dogs* scampering round and some multicoloured birds* in a cage. (* I am not very good with breeds.) This means I don't have to flick awkwardly through a magazine while waiting - I can pet a dog. Bonus.
However, my hairdresser's first question does not set me at ease: "so, have you been busy or are you just not bothered about your hair?" Oh dear. I hadn't realised I looked like such a horrendous scruffbag. Her second, after asking me what I'd like done, does little to make amends: "but would you not like something more feminine?" Instead of saying "no, just please get rid of my hair and make it quick", I mumble acquiescence and nod as she describes something I can't quite picture. So...it'll be short on the inside with long bits on the outside? Does my hair have an inside and outside? Apparently so.
I am sent downstairs with a skinny 19-year-old, who leads me into an gold-tiled room to wash my hair. It is oddly dark and intimate and full of mysterious and beguiling scents. He chats to me about the last film he saw at the cinema as he splashes expensive conditioner around and segues into a head massage, but I am unable to hold a conversation because an anonymous stranger is slowly caressing my head in a gold dungeon. Is this not...wrong? Perhaps not. Some people pay good money for this.
It all picks up after that - I won't bore you with the details but let's just say a pair of scissors is involved, as is a comb. And, at one gripping moment, a razor. And the end result is totally lovely - short and messy and perfect.
So, there you have it: it was like a
golden sex dungeon zoo where you pay people a lot of money to insult
the way you look. I highly recommend it and will be going again in 6-8
weeks.
"So, what are we doing today?"
I flap my hands vaguely, gesticulating in a manner that I hope indicates "stylish and super sexy" in the international language of waving.
“Short.”
He raises an eyebrow. More information is needed.
“Like, erm, Shami Chakrabarti.”
“Sorry, I don’t know –”
“Ok, Natalie Portman then. She has lovely short hair.”
“Oh! I’ve just seen her in V For Vendetta.”
“Erm…”
In the end, I manage to convey that - the hair? It should be reduced. Essentially, I would very much like the volume of hair to be less. However: great care must be taken to ensure I don’t look like a Borstal boy.
He gets to work and somehow our excruciating small talk stumbles into blogging.
“You should start one of those blogs, you know,” he says. “I’ve read a few and there are some really good ones out there. It’s a good route into journalism, you know?”
I shrug noncommittally, grinning to myself as he trims the back of my hair. “Yeah, maybe, that’s not a bad idea.”
He puts his scissors down as he starts to laugh, so amusing is the thought that’s just occurred to him:
“You know, I bet some people would even blog about getting their hair cut!”
“Yeah! God. Some people are such losers.”
Some people really are.
