3 posts tagged “masterchef”
The seventh season of "American Idol" premieres tonight. Will you be watching, or are you over it?
No, but you know what I am getting excited about, Vox, you American-centric loser? THE RETURN OF MASTERCHEF GOES LARGE. Hang on - it's just called Masterchef now. It only needs to go by one name, much like Madonna or Shakira. John "Material Girl" Torode and Greg "Hips Don't Lie" Wallace are BACK and BIGGER THAN EVER.
Key phrases to learn this year are:
"This competition JUST GETS TOUGHER";
"If there'd been a Mars Bar to hand would you have thrown that in as well?" (this season's "your dish is too busy");
"It's good hearty British cuisine but it needs refinement";
"That tastes like a Jammy Dodger run over by a steamroller".
I might live-blog Thursday's quarter-final if my laptop hasn't gasped its dying breaths before then. BBC2, 8.30pm, Monday-Thursday. Ch-ch-ch-check it out.
Just to let you all know - Geordie David is out, as I predicted. They all produced fairly disastrous plates of food on Friday but Geordie David's were clearly the worst, largely because he sweated copiously all over them and made bread ice-cream. Bread ice-cream! I ask you. It looked like glue.
Anyway, he sobbed when he heard he was out, the other contestants cried and I might have had something in my eye. Masterchef is an emotional rollercoaster. I do love how it doesn't try to teach the viewing public anything about cooking - no recipes scroll rapidly across the screen and you can't send off an SAE for a fact sheet. I'm revealing myself as a child of the 80s by mentioning fact sheets, aren't I? Nowadays it's probably all "websites" and "downloading".
The final is on Thursday so if no-one could ring me between 8-9pm that would be great, ta. I will be devastated no matter who wins because I hate seeing people lose. This is why I can't watch quiz shows or athletics.