1 post tagged “pronounce name”

How have people mispronounced your name?  How is it supposed to sound? 
Submitted by Lorie.   

 

Claire.

My name sounds nothing like Claire.  It is commonly mispronounced due to its atypical spelling, but it took a special situation to end up as a Claire.

It started when I was 4, when a new neighbour moved in two doors down.  I was in the back garden, building an urban rockery out of tin cans, broken china and mud.  New neighbour leaned her head out of her upstairs window and called down to me:  "Hello!  I am your new neighbour Julie! What's your name?"  I answered and she responded with "well, hello there Claire, we've just moved in and blah blah rah rah blurrgh" - but my brain had gone into shock.  My name!  The very essence of me!  My identity!  Was wrong!

I ran in to tell my mum that the new lady had made a potentially fatal error and that she, my mother, bringer of life and fixer of wrongness, would have to do something about it.  She frowned and shook her head.  No, it was too late - it was my fault for mumbling and now I would have to live with the consequences.  It would be too mortifying for this woman to learn she'd made a mistake. 

This was the first time I realised we lived in the suburbs, where embarrassment could kill.

So years passed, and Julie continued to call me Claire.  I adjusted to the situation.  She also invited me round and made me Coke floats and let me watch satellite tv so the trade-off was pretty good.  I adjusted to my Claire-ness. 

When I was eight, Julie had a daughter, Poppy.  She introduced me to the infant as Claire.  Suddenly, I panicked.  I imagined this spreading like a linguisitic malaise until I'd be forced to introduce myself to everyone as Claire.  Even I would forget my real name until perhaps one day a grandchild, researching Old People, would dig out my birth certificate and we would both peer with surprise at the four-letter, two-syllable name printed thereon.  (As a side note, something similar actually happened to my great-grandmother, who found on her ancient birth cert that her name was Christina, not Catherine.  I bet she had a hard of hearing neighbour too.)

I forget the crucial details of the day that Julie learnt my real name - perhaps a noisy friend screeched it as we played outside, maybe a letter for me went to the wrong address - but I do remember her face as she came to the front door and asked my mum if my name was really NotClaire.  My mum nodded silently as I sat on the stairs, pressing my face against the bannisters and squirming with the thrill of it all.  This was the most dramatic thing to happen in our cul-de-sac for years.  Julie attempted a laugh, blushed deeply, bit her lip, turned and walked away.  And moved her family out the very next day.

Not really.  But I don't remember being invited round for any more Coke floats.